Toilet smoilet!!

I guess I've finally got to the stage where you go, "ok, so was I suppose to have kids??"

This darn potty thing is driving me insane!!!

Every time I put DW on the toilet he will sit there and "read" a book, he'll pee a little or a lot depending on his need I guess, but I just can't get a bowl movement out of him.

He can sit on there for 20 min and nothing and then when he gets off, "poopy pullup" (if you try to take him off earlier, he cries and gets all upset, so I let him sit there and "read" till he's had enough)

I am going nuts, he never has a regular bowl movement, it's anytime of day, so I can't even narrow it down....

Those damn pull ups are expensive too, I just can't afford to keep on like this...

I sit there and make "pooping faces" at him and he does them back about 3 times, but then he wants to point and laugh and make gurgle sounds or choking sounds, or just anything else... Ok so you figure, ok it'll distract him and he'll poop unaware of it, so you joke around and pretend to poop etc and hope it'll happen..

YEAH RIGHT

All that happens is you sit there making "pooping faces" and telling him ok go poopy and NOTHING!!

I don't have the patience at all.

My mother said to try catch him in mid poop... ok that's not as easy as it sounds, by the time you realize he is pooping, he is done!!! Then you have to pull down his pants, get the pullup off without spilling poop everywhere and put him on the toilet!!! SO yeah, no where near enough time to get that to happen.. he's completely over it by then.

I know boys are harder than girls, but this is ridiculous!!

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this part of having a kid......

This whole "single parent" thing is just not what I signed up for, I just wish he would get it already so we can be done with this, but he just won't do it in the toilet!!!

He's a hugely independent kid and loves doing things by himself, and if you try to play with him too much he gets annoyed and just leaves you where you are and goes and does something else. (With other children though, he's the exact opposite) I guess he already got to the "Mommy isn't cool enough to play with" stage.
So that kinda blows the "watching his facial expressions 24/7 to catch him mid poop" too

My problem is that I have a highly intelligent child, (no that's not "oh every mother says that", If my child wasn't I just wouldn't bring it up at all, rather than making my child seem intelligent) and he knows what everything means and what I'm saying and were to potty.... He can do so many things that kids at 4 only start doing (he's 2 by the way). It just seems, that he's just refusing to take the step and I don't see why...

I know kids should just be left and they'll do it in their own time... but once again... I'm not that patient and pullups cost money!!
I'm so frustrated right now I could just burst.... I hate not having anything work...

Everyone gives me their solutions, but each kid is different and my child just doesn't want to do any of those little tricks r games, he's just not that kind of kid....

I need coffee!!!!!!