Monday, June 25, 2007

Potential dismay


I'm browsing blogs and waiting for my classmates to comment on my autopsy report I wrote yesterday (which is a whole other post on it's own :P ), and I come across a post by Gnome, it hit home so hard I almost cried.

It's amazing how when you are young you are told that you can do anything. This empowers you and you choose your field and you just know, that no matter what, you will achieve this goal!

Unfortunately you don't get the whole story on the idea of
you can do and be whatever you want
No one tells you, that most of the time you will have to cope with trials alone, find the right path alone, be crippled in your ideas and monetarily stripped of your dreams.

How morbid it all sounds, but it's the reality that's not made known to those who strive to do their best.

I feel if we empower ourselves and others in this knowledge, then once it hits you are not in the illusion that this is only happening to you and no one else!
Which it ultimately feels like, because you don't "know any better"

How disheartening it is to look at your life and know that the position you have been placed in, isn't the one you where suppose to end up in? Now reality is hitting you in the face, and it's not a kind and gentle "it'll be ok" tap, it's a full face "WAKE UP" slap. You know that you just need to go along with your current issue at hand, because it is virtually impossible to do anything else at the present time.

It's just worsened by seeing other with careers around you and promising futures within those careers, and you know you haven't even begun to get anywhere near where you are suppose to be.

Now I know there are people out there, that their whole lives they strive to be a Mother and a stay-at-home parent, they want children, a house and to be the best little housewife they can be. To those I say "Well Done!!" It definitely is NOT me.
I just can't see myself being the....
Welcome home hunnie
Here's dinner hunnie
Here's you laundry hunnie
The house is spick and span hunnie
You are the bread winner and I am here to serve you
.......type

For those of you that grew up with me and know me back then, can you imagine???

I've always worked, I've always been on the go.

It's stifling, but I have just realized I need to just keep working towards that light that's finally visible and getting a little bigger as the months roll on.

2 comments:

Gnome said...

This might sound hypocritical, given the post I wrote yesterday, but I think you're where you're supposed to be right now. So am I. Even though we don't like it. Imagine how great it is that you're spending most of your time with your son. These are the most important years of his life i.t.o development, and it's so important to have his mom around. You are being extremely selfless at the moment. Your son will thank you one day. And you will have time to fulfil your dreams one day. Promise.

LT said...

It's just the thought's of "Is this really it??" that run through your head.
You know what I mean?

I never had a chance to get where I am now, so before now I was just trying to not feel embarrassed when people asked "So, what do you do...!!"

Now I just say "I'm a student.." It's amazing how those words make you feel so elated!